Christmas

It's strange to me that we're two days from Christmas. I have been completely removed from the whole thing. This is in largest part due to the fact I'm in a show, and the show is kind of my waking and sleeping (with work, exercise and caffeine thrown in the middle). When I'm not thinking about the show (or washing my hands in order to try and stay healthy for the show), I'm thinking about the next film project or that mammoth in the sky, the wedding. Christmas doesn't even squeak in on the radar. Mostly that's been really good. It's meant that I've had exactly zero stress when it comes to this particular holiday. However, now that we're getting closer the creep is setting in, and I'm having to force back the guilt (not getting presents for people) and the regret (not taking part in any celebratory things...like decorating.) It's just laziness that lets these emotions happen. Our family isn't doing presents officially and I've not turned down one holiday party yet. Funny how something like negativity (in its many forms) can be a habit we acquire and then spend a lifetime trying to un-acquire. Like binge eating. Or picking at bad skin.

And on that note, off to finish the work day.