Thursday, May 17, 2012

Carving Out Our Own Space

When you grow up with one family you think all families for the good and for the not good, are like yours. Then you step out into the real world and discover it is not so.

It's the same for your place of work.

I worked for a company for seven years. It had its ups and it had its downs. I could chart both but only within the context of what I knew. As I've made small steps out into the world beyond our family business, I've started to see the bigger reasons why those good and bad things existed as they did.

I volunteer at an arts organization and I work part time at another. Let's call them Arts Org and Theater Org respectfully. The longer I've volunteered at the Arts Org the more I've come to understand just how dysfunctional it is. The organization works really hard and does amazing work but the people within the organization are overworked and hate their office life. There is a pettiness and passive aggressiveness and a defensiveness that reflects a bit of what I felt at my old job.

The Theater Org on the other hand doesn't have that. Or at least not enough to become aware of in the first few months. Sure, it's still a group of overworked, underpaid, passive people, but the way they talk isn't passive aggressive. There isn't a culture of blame and defensiveness. I find it startling but I think I've also begun to figure out how the two evolved.

Friday, May 11, 2012

Well, This is Embarassing

We're in Play Month so I have been dead to the world and those in it for May weekends.

As part of my job, sometimes I get House Assistants from the Intern Program at the organization. Interns are a mixed bag. Most of them are kind of amazing. So tonight, I had a great intern. His name was C. And C like some of the teens I've met is really agreeable. He spends a lot of energy trying to make sure people feel included and welcomed and more importantly agreed with. (The latter being a teenager trait I'm beginning to see.)

C is talking with one of the staff (who I don't know very well at all). I'll call the staff guy T. T makes a joke that C seems to be really getting the hang of his House Assistant duties. (This is all going on while I'm setting up some last minute concessions and sort of laughing at what they're saying. You know when you're a part of a conversation even though you're not necessarily one of the speakers.)

C says, "I guess I am."

T says, "In no time you'll be up for the head job." (Referring to, well, my job.)

C laughs a bit uncomfortably and says, "I think that would be awhile. Also it seems to be in pretty good hands." (Or something trying to be nice to me..who is just continuing to work at the stand where they are.)

To which T says laughing and saying sarcastically, "Yeah, like your big dream is to grow up and be a house manager for a living. That's your big dream."

At this point C had no idea what to say. *I* had no idea what to say. And I don't know how long it took T to realize that he basically just 100% insulted a person who is standing RIGHT THERE. He may not have. And at this point I realized that this wasn't my problem and I turned around and left their conversation.

I'm rarely in situations that are so awkward that they actually become funny. It could have felt really damaging to me and the big self worth questions. But because it was a situation I'd never actually found myself in before, it felt oddly hilarious.