Tsk Tsk

Coming back from a wedding is hard. I use to tsk tsk when I heard brides say this. Like "oh poor you not getting to pick out dresses anymore." But that is a way too simple assessment of something that is much more emotionally complex.

The truth is, it's hard not b/c of the what, but b/c of the how long and the how focused. As an event, a wedding takes a lot of life energy and mental focus to plan. I've done enough video projects to know that I have project let down after each and every one of them. (After a really good play is the worst.) But for 6 months most of my days were spent siphoning my wants (our wants), wishes and family mental health through this one event. Eye of a pin or something. Now that the event is over (whether it had been a wedding or directing a feature length film) I have spent more time than I suspected untethered.

But I can feel it coming back. I can see ground below my feet quietly rising from the distance. And I know that soon again I will feel my toes touch the earth and I will be off running again among the living.

And it's september. Who can't love that.

This is it

This is it. It's the moment it happens. The moment where you step out of the stream and say, "I no longer care to keep up with what's current." I always wondered how people don't understand email or refuse to stop writing checks (just use a credit card for god's sake!). But it starts with a moment like this: I don't care who Justin Bieber is.

Oh watch irrelevancy take me over bit by fleshy bit.

We took photographs again tonight for the poster. They kept telling me to smile larger. Smile larger! This will not end well.

Hahahaha

So you know what's hard to do when you lock your car keys AND your phone AND your credit card in your car? Getting stuff on your to-do list done.

Thank GOD I had the good sense to be holding my apt keys or I'd be somewhere out in the rain right now super pissed.

Now excuse me, I have to go harass my boyfriend at work so he can call someone to help me.

*ahem*