A New Sort of Monday

I'm having trouble finding closure to String of Pearls. Maybe it's b/c I don't need any. It very well might be that. Normally I find closure through junk food (check) and a well of sentimentality for the past x amount of time and the people I spent it with. That latter is the one I'm having trouble crossing off. We didn't have a cast party, which just mirrors the whole process for us as actors. We were never really given the opportunities to bond. (And I think we would have been an even tighter group given the chance.) I get the sense that the director has done this so long at this point she doesn't really care about that outside stuff. (Or maybe she just didn't feel it with this particular group of people.)

I also know that I'm a mind jumper. I jump from project to project. It took a lot of self control to not emotionally invest in the next thing before this thing was over. And now that it is, my brain is already strategizing how to get shit done.

But that's why I need the closure. Generally with closure I have the sadness, but I also have this lifting sensation. This lightness that swells and I feel I can accomplish anything. I don't have that this time. I don't have the relief. And maybe that's b/c after the Saturday show my parents told me my paternal Grandmother might be dying, and I'm now taking care of their pets while they head south. Maybe that's why I don't have the lightness. When I really analyze it, it feels unconnected somehow, but maybe I'm not *that* self aware.

I don't know. But I do know that before I completely cross it off, before I completely move on to the next thing, I need to assess the experience in its entirety, and make notes of what I learned for next time. (May there be a next time :)

First Weekend Success

Four days off. Four. Glorious. Days. It's going to be hard to pull this back together on Friday night. We're not having a pick up rehearsal, which means I need to run through my lines at least once a night.

We've had great audiences and have not quiet yet made it through seamless, but we're doing a good job. Some areas are stronger than others. But that's how it goes. Normally I'm just not on stage the entire time to see it.

A few people have said that they've liked this show more than Memory of Water. It made me realize that I liked Memory of Water more b/c I got to play a fantastic character. That I was gauging the play from an acting standpoint. In this show, I don't have the fun characters. (Or the ones that really get the laughs.) As one friend pointed out, I'm the straight man in a lot of my scenes. But that's OK. We don't all get to be the funny person every show. And in this show, the woman who has some of those roles, does such a good job with them I'm not even envious. Weird right?

Count Down

Tonight was fun. Fun like it should be. People were on. The mood was good. There was a camaraderie thick in the room. We were in it and we were in it together.

This show has been a slow build. For whatever reasons (and I do have theories) our bonding has been slower. Our sense of freedom on stage has been late blooming. But tonight I felt it. We were lost in our characters. People were trying new things as only people who really know their characters can try. It was refreshing and lovely and about fucking time.

So yes. We have only 2 more rehearsals until we open. Open on a night where the weather is threatening freezing rain. And for the first time I'm really excited to share this with people. Get them in the seats and see where they laugh. See where we can take them. And I'm still not certain it's the best show in the world, but I am certain that I really admire the women I'm sharing the journey with. Really eager to stand in a line with them when the lights come up and play.

Final two weeks

Tickets went on sale tonight. More are already gone than I thought. I think that's good. I don't know what I think. Mostly I think I'm sitting really close to some people in Section 3 and that we keep our backs turned way too much to that same section. Mostly I try not to think about those things. Mostly I fail.

I don't know what it was tonight in rehearsal, maybe the fact that one of our actresses added a new accent for the first time or maybe it was because our light guy came in and played around us, but something felt different. There was a sizzle at moments that I hadn't felt yet. There was an, "aaah. There she is" here and there. I don't know what it is yet. B/c we were certainly skipping whole sections of things but yeah, just...something.

I needed that something. I'm still lost in the untethered space. Unsure if this is a good play or a mediocre one. Unsure if I am believable in the slightest. I think the show has it's moments. Some of the actresses really are outstanding and have given some outstanding performances these past weeks of rehearsal. But I still don't know if all of it wrapped together makes a very intriguing story. However, like with seating, I'm done worrying about that. My allegiance lies with 10 women. The 5 on the stage with me and the 5 I've been chosen to play. That is where my energy must focus for these remaining two weeks and then the 8 performances. There and only there.

And tonight, whatever that was we got the glimmer of, I want more of that. :)

We took photographs again tonight for the poster. They kept telling me to smile larger. Smile larger! This will not end well.

Our Theater Doesn't Do Rain

SOP is not a standard play. People play multiple characters. Those characters spend a lot of time speaking to the audience and not to each other. I'm beginning to see the ramifications of such a show. Some are good. Some are bad. Some are neither the prior two and just are.

1. Cast bonding: there is less of it.
Every cast has it's own feel. I think I can confidently say that now. My first show in '06, I had a director that worked to make sure his cast of 4 women bonded. We had field trips together for Christ sake. It set the bar very high. I've never had a show that was that tight, but my last show, Memory of Water, did have some bond. It may not have been totally positive, but it was there. This show doesn't have that yet, and I'm not sure it will. We are all on stage the entire time so there is no down time between scenes to connect as people. We are always playing characters. We are rarely interacting as back stage confidants or whatever. We are never actresses, we are always acting.

Tonight's Lessons

I need to learn to stay quiet. I'm an over-explainer...most especially in new groups where I'm still uncomfortable and unsure of my place. One of my inner voices needs to have the sole job of bringing down the hatchet when I'm veering into, "too much information" territory. Big or small. GAH.

So today I finally looked at our rehearsal schedule and noticed that in two weeks Monday, we are suppose to be off book. Really? Really truly? B/c that's h i l a r i o u s. HILARIOUS. I have so much to learn in such a short time. Bring on the nightmares!

Baby Steps- SOP

Tonight was the first real rehearsal for SOP. Last night was a read through but mostly some necessary house keeping . Also pictures. You know how I feel about pictures. I don't have high hopes for my shiny spot on the poster. But alas I digress.

Tonight started about as rough as last night started, only instead of getting into some light conflict with the artistic director, tonight I get a call at 7:45 from the AD wondering where I am. See I was suppose to be there at 7:30, which I thought yesterday when they didn't call my name for the Tuesday rehearsal and when I asked about it they joked I hadn't looked at my schedule. Good thing I didn't open that bottle of wine.

Here we go again- Pearls

I start rehearsing a new show a week from Monday. It's Michele Lowe's String of Pearls. Six women play 20-some roles. I was asked to audition and wasn't thrilled about the script, but I love the director and really respect her work. (Really respect her work.) She offered me a part in the cast and it would have been stupid to turn her down. Now that I've spent more time with the script, I realize it would have been stupid in more ways than one.

With our travels and wedding prep, I've neglected doing the necessary work for these parts. But once the 26th hits, my life will revolve around this show. That's just how theater works. So like the many things that consume my thoughts, I will do a lot of musings here. Some will be about the characters (insights, what I'm trying, what works, what doesn't) and of course probably discussion on the other actresses. It is an all woman show. I like these. I like the atmosphere they create. Throw in one man and everything changes. In the past, I've had really good experiences. I hope I do so again.