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I love arbitrary dates, and this means that each and every month on the first, I feel like life is opening up to me as much as it does on a January 1st. So here we go. I'm allowing myself 10, which statistically is 9 too many to really stick with something, but alas. Goals.
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Sunday, July 22, 2012
Look. Listen. Learn.
This weekend I ran face to face with my past. Not that I'm running from anything in particular, and I've never been one of those people who holds high school up to some pillar of greatness. But I do have to say it's strange to suddenly discover that you are selling $1 candy to your favorite childhood English teacher.
We feel the gentle tug of the daily ups and the daily downs and how smooth that all seems when held side by side to the face plant of your 18 year old self. I walked away from the experience completely torn. It was really lovely to see a man I so admired. He said some really nice things to me. I got to meet his family. But on the other hand, I was selling him candy. He asked me what I was doing with myself and there was no good way to answer. I didn't want to disparage the theater when I really do enjoy my job. I didn't want to talk about my bigger goals because they won't happen in that particular place no matter how great it is.
It's too easy to hold yourself up against what you thought you could be, but it's a false act. Life is harder in ways we never imagined. Childhood is easy. Childhood is easy and no child knows it. And it's from only that place of comfort and naiveté can you hold these ideals up and say, "I want to be great." To a child, greatness is a thin thin line. And that line is cartoonish to an adult.
We feel the gentle tug of the daily ups and the daily downs and how smooth that all seems when held side by side to the face plant of your 18 year old self. I walked away from the experience completely torn. It was really lovely to see a man I so admired. He said some really nice things to me. I got to meet his family. But on the other hand, I was selling him candy. He asked me what I was doing with myself and there was no good way to answer. I didn't want to disparage the theater when I really do enjoy my job. I didn't want to talk about my bigger goals because they won't happen in that particular place no matter how great it is.
It's too easy to hold yourself up against what you thought you could be, but it's a false act. Life is harder in ways we never imagined. Childhood is easy. Childhood is easy and no child knows it. And it's from only that place of comfort and naiveté can you hold these ideals up and say, "I want to be great." To a child, greatness is a thin thin line. And that line is cartoonish to an adult.
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