2011

A new year. Get ready set go. Z and I spent the New Year at the beach, and on the lovely drive we began talking resolutions. I do most of mine on my birthday, but New Years is still a good excuse to add one or two and reflect on the ones I've already got cooking. I listed off all of mine and then when I asked Z for his he gave me two. "And that's what I think I can do," he said, and he was finished. This is a wonderful example of how we operate differently. I throw a net out and see what I catch. He focuses his spear on one fish, eyes it, calculates and throws.


It has me thinking about not the what but the how of resolutions. For me, and I'm guessing with a whole lot of other people, I know I have to change how I think about things in order to make any progress on any-sized goals. I need to take out the judgmental voice and just *do* them. It's amazing how many times I haven't exercised because the judgmental voice has told me I probably wouldn't and that I was a bad person because of it. It's that same voice that condemns me for not doing my 15 minutes of drawing. The judgment (before the act has even failed) is so often what sabotages the efforts. Even small efforts. And then those build and sabotage the big efforts.

So I have to take out judgment. The Before Judgment and the After Judgment. Go deaf but keep the eye on the prize. And that's why it's OK that I didn't start eating enough fruit servings on January 1 but if I do today then yay.

The other half to this puzzle is to remember that I want these things on a day to day basis. There is a fire that builds when you write a goal list. You can feel the energy and the thrill of this new and improved self vision. But then you get to 5 o'clock and you're tired and the television is calling you or you've already filled every night with plans. Life is not just a list of goals. There has to be room for impromptu happy hours and conversation but from a pure equation standpoint, a person only has so much time.

This second half is perhaps the bigger issue at hand, and I am sure there will be more ramblings on this very topic in this very space.