Adultness

A high school friend's sister-in-law just died. She had a rare liver cancer. She and her husband had been married for 11 and a half years. They had 3 daughters together. She was 30. I knew both of them (the husband and wife) vaguely through high school choir. They were so committed to each other. So incredibly young.

And yet they had already had such an adult life together. They were adults. Young in that adulthood but still adults. They had traveled together. Raised children together. Changed jobs together. It makes me think about my adulthood and makes me realize that while Zach and I are only a year younger than them, I feel like we are a decade their junior.

Through responsibility, definitely. There is a responsibility children bring that I cannot fathom. I think it makes you an adult. B/c you're kind of that or a deadbeat. Probably not a lot of halfway there.

But there are classmates younger than me who have already opened bars. Fought in wars. Raised families. I don't necessarily want to do any of those things but at what point will I stop considering myself a child in some respects? It's not in how I behave particularly, it's how I view what I should be accomplishing right now in the world.

It will be interesting to see how the move affects my perspective of all of this. This also simply may be the first step in that conversation all 50 year-olds have confirming among each other that they still all feel 20.