Loneliness: The Single and Double of It

(The necessary disclaimer: Z and I are fine. This is not some undertoned cry for help in our marriage. This is just a discussion of how things are sometimes. I have actually felt lonely approximately zero times this week!)

A single friend asked recently about whether I'm ever lonely as a married person. It's a good question. Loneliness is a touchy subject, and loneliness in marriage is a little bit of a hush hush, hence the disclaimer above.

I think the loneliness of being single is a more public loneliness because it is a more acceptable loneliness. People are less uncomfortable in single loneliness b/c we can all look at the situation and offer a solution. Someday we assume that person won't be single, and the loneliness will be solved. It's a problem with a perceived some-day solution. The loneliness while tough, is not forever.

Walking into Dawn

(*Note: I wrote this a few days ago. If it disappears in a day or two, pay no mind.)

If you looked across any place I spend much time you'd find an anthropological study about my genetic line. The stacks of dishes, the groupings of coffee cups, the piles of clothes, the binder of environmental news clippings. That is a line that threads back through my genes, through my parent's and to my paternal grandparents. And so it is hard this week looking at the dishes, the cups, the clothing and the clippings to not think about the part of my family we lost last week.