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In five working days, I am finished with seven years of working. Seven years. My first job. My only job. Amazing.
I have mixed feelings. There are the obvious feelings of worry. Will I be able to find work? How long should I try to find work that involves my desired career? I'll be doing freelance, we'll have unemployment, and we've saved quite a bit this past year so if we're smart, we'll be OK from a money standpoint, but still. I don't think I've yet realized how much identity is involved in any job of seven years. Who are you when a large part of what you've done disappears?
On the other hand I feel a bit like a kid poised at the edge of summer break. I never planned for lazy days (although I often took them.) Summer always meant a season of exercise and writing and classes at the community college. It meant early mornings and long nights. For me the coming season of unemployment means goals and the self discipline of learning, well, self discipline. I'm curious to see if my levels of guilt will go down now that I don't have to be anywhere 9 to 5. I'm curious if my weird issues with time strengthen or weaken.
It's a mystery, but one I'll soon have the mixed pleasure of meeting face to face.
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I know you're scared and nervous so I'll just be excited and optimistic for you. This is going to be a good year, not just for me but for everyone. You'll figure it out but also take this time to just slow down and look around :) Yeah yeah, hippy dippy. I'm not high! But at least that's what I'm trying. I'm so in a *rush* to move on and get to where I'm "supposed" to be so I've decided to just stop and enjoy my time where I am now, of course, with a watchful eye on the future.
ReplyDeleteYou'll be fine! I'm excited!
I think I'm excited too. Maybe I can get my priorities in line. Maybe I can calm the hell down.
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