Age

I was at the local craft store tonight (GET OUT GET OUT WHILE YOU CAN) buying some tiles and it was a particularly slow night in the store. It's acting like July outside so I imagine everyone is at BBQs. The result was employee down time and two women were helping me at check out. One of the women was talking about how she's having her 50th wedding anniversary next month. You can tell by the polite nods of her co-workers that she's been talking about this a lot. But I'm new, so she tells me and then goes on to explain that that is next month, THIS month is her birthday. She's 71. I look up at her and say, "Really?" And before I've had time to process the pros and cons of another statement I blurt out, "You've got good genes." She's halfway through her, "I know" before I begin to really wonder if I've said something offensive. I've paid so now my trajectory is out the door and I can feel half of my body kind of turning back to try and make sure I haven't said something terrible but the other half of my body is wrenching myself forward. The latter strong armed the former and I sit in my car awhile wondering if I should go back and apologize.

Finally I just drive away.

I don't like that I said that though. I don't think it was offensive but the very fact I said anything bothers me. It's not the first time I've told someone they have good genes. A lady who worked on Chicago with us is 40 and she's living inside a late 20s early 30s body. Now SHE has good genes.

But then what does it mean to have good genes? Does your good genes rating go up depending on your looks-close-to-a-pre-teen vs actual-age ratio? At one point in our lives we wanted to look older. And then somewhere in our 20s it switches to want to look younger. Because that's what I'm saying to the woman in the craft store: good job not looking old. And that's what I'm telling the 40 year old: Hey, nice one looking like a 20/30 year old. It means that they are getting points for not being what they are. That looking 40 and 71 (whatever the hell that means) isn't OK. And that if you don't look 24 you might as well be dead. What crap. What total crap.

I think the larger lesson here is stay the hell out of craft stores. Somewhere Zach agrees.